If you follow me on Instagram (@jamithompsonphoto), you’ll see me use the hashtag #DeploymentStrong a lot. For me, its about learning a new strength each time Kyle deploys. Learning how to not only balance everything in our lives on my own, but learning also how to help pass the time without being a slave to the clock/calendar. I have to learn each time he leaves that I’ll have to dig deep again to find my strength (and my energy if we’re being real here LOL) to get through the next 4 months without him. But I’m not just talking about being physically strong. Sure, it takes muscles to take that trash out or to lift the 55lb dog food bag you just bought at Costco but thats not what this blog post is about. This one is about being DEPLOYMENT STRONG and finding strengths deep within you, you never knew you had.

During our first deployment 2.5 years ago, I was plenty busy. We had a 7 month old when Kyle left and I was in the 2nd year of owning my business. I was busy 24/7, which made that deployment truly fly by. It was the first and only deployment I had ever done in my life so I had no idea what I was in for. This deployment taught me how to be emotionally strong as I cared for a 7 month old on my own. I didn’t do it totally alone though — my parents came and got her on my days of weakness when I just couldn’t take it anymore. I’m not perfect, I’m human, and I need help to get through some of these deployment days!

The second deployment….was really tough. I really became a hermit and just threw a 4 month long pity party. Kyle was gone during the holidays (Halloween, Aubree’s 2nd birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day) and it was awful. It made me so depressed to not have my husband and the father of my child home to celebrate the holidays with us so I just became an introverted hermit who never wanted to leave the house. I refused help from everyone and just wanted to be alone. It saddens me to think I wasn’t very strong during that deployment for my daughter or my husband. But I’m thankful I’m married to a man who builds me up and has helped me to find a whole new strength within.

This deployment, I’m stronger. I don’t and will NOT throw anymore pity parties. My husband being gone is a temporary thing and I always remind myself of that when I start to miss him really bad or when I’m feeling overwhelmed with parenting/work/household chores, etc.

This is temporary. This too shall pass. This will not last forever.

I repeat those things in my head until I feel better. Deep down, I know each deployment has an expiration date. And that helps me through.

This deployment I feel so much more independent, stronger and ABLE to get through it. We took the time to create a deployment chain before Kyle left and its been one of the best things we’ve ever done for these months apart. Aubree and I took different colored paper, cut them in strips and I wrote on each one a number, 1-124….one for each day Kyle would be gone. Then Kyle took each one and wrote a sweet message on the back of it to us girls. Once he was done, I carefully (without reading any of the messages) put the chain together. We draped it over the fridge and each day when Aubree and I wake up, we eagerly and excitedly run downstairs to see what daddy has to say to us today. Those messages are EVERYTHING to us. They’re sweet, directly from his heart, and in his own handwriting. Once we read one, we put it in the pile of the others we’ve read and we watch that stack grow (days that have passed) as the chain shortens (days we have left). Deployment chains are a pretty common thing, but the message on the back each day was something I came up with and I’m truly glad we have this each day.

If your husband is deploying soon and you have kids, try this!! Your kids will LOVE it and honestly, so will you! I don’t know who’s more excited every morning about ripping another day off and reading our note from daddy… me or Aubree?! LOL!

I also ordered the following books off of Amazon that have helped Aubree understand better and she really enjoys reading them, especially the first book listed — she makes me read that one 2-3 times a night!

Countdown ‘Til Daddy Comes Home — This one is by far her favorite!

My Dad’s Deployment: A deployment and reunion activity book for young children — Aubree doesn’t quite understand everything in the book but she likes to color all over it, LOL!

I Miss You!: A Military Kids Book About Deployment — Although this one is great, I feel like its targeted more towards Army families and we’re Navy — huge difference! We don’t read this one much.

A Paper Hug — This one gave us great inspiration. We didn’t create the ‘paper hug’ but instead we did finger painting and put Aubree’s painted hand prints on paper with the words “Daddy, I can’t wait to wrap these hands around you when you come home!” I just sent it in his latest care package and can’t wait for him to receive it :)

So you see, being strong isn’t just about physical strength. It’s not about the weights you lift. It’s about the strengths you have to dig deep to find. The emotional and mental strength to pull through during moments like deployments. My daughter is having a very tough time with this deployment so I’m having to find a whole new strength I never knew I had to be strong FOR her. To help her through the emotions of daddy being gone. This isn’t easy for any mother or parent but I’m trying. The strengths it takes each day my husband is gone on deployment is astonishing. And they’re ones I never knew I had. It kills me when a civilian wife says to me “I could never do what you do.” Umm, YOU CAN! But not with that attitude, sister. Be stronger. Mentally & emotionally. You deserve that type of strength and so do your spouse and children.

This is temporary. This too shall pass. This will not last forever.

{On Repeat}

What tips and tricks do you have for digging deep, being strong and not becoming a slave to the clock/calendar? What little rituals allow you to pass the time while feeling empowered that you CAN hold the fort down, work, raise children and do it all WELL while the hubby is away? I’d love to know! Comment below with any tips you have for me :)

Until next time friends, health and happiness always. Xo.

Top images by Sarah Vanderford Photography // Shirt by Strong Like a Mom

Last 4 images by Shawna Bielat Photography